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Hi!

I`m proud, almost happy, super lonely and in desperate need of tenderness. But Perwoll will help me.
Back on track. You`ll see it!
-D

A getaway

Sometimes I'm asking myself what is the purpose of this particular blog and how frequent it has to be updated. Early this week a company, where I'm working had it's annual conference. As some might know, I'm engaged in lifestyle  So all the people from 6 countries gathered in Jurmala, where we talked about many things including social media, My Norwegian co-worker said that if a blog is not updated daily it has no meaning. I was puzzled by this for a while and then I disagreed with her, saying that it depends on the purpose of blog. Yes, indeed it is, to create a content sometimes is hard, and sometimes you have nothing to share or say, so why to spam then. Besides I'm tired of whining that it's hard to blog daily without my precious BlackBerry! It is, what it is and let's just hope that soon I will find a solution to blog more often. WHATEVER!
Now let's switch to the more exciting part.
Last few weeks were full of events and quite stressy for me - we had the company's conference, office redecoration, and some other stuff which annoys you. I was tired emotionally and had a feeling that I need a getaway at least for one day. Last Sunday I chatted with a friend of mine, who has moved to Tallinn for studies. We were talking that it would be super nice if I'd come to visit him and he actually invited to stay at his place - so accommodation and nice company was already granted, then few days later I booked a bus ticket to Tallinn, 33.60 LVL round trip in a bus which has super spacious seats, WIFI (now I'm on a way back to Riga and writing this postr) all the way and luxe feeling. Check http://www.luxexpress.eu for more information.
Usually when I'm travelling, even for a short time, I'm taking at least 3 outfits, and two pair of shoes. Fashionistas and hipsters will understand me. This trip was only for two days and one night so I went for something new to me, which looked like two cardigans, black leggings, super cool black pants with black satin stripes, which I rediscovered in a supplementary wardrobe, one pair of black shoes, and two grey t-shirt in fact two outfits, which anyway coupled with my camera, beauty bag and laptop made my Longchamp extra heavy.

little celebration

Yesterday I got new undies from H&M, which were so cool, that I wanted to share with the world how cool they are. Today I woke up and first thing I did was a self portrait in my new fake denim undies. When I uploaded this picture I was pleasantly surprised, and not by how cute these undies are, but that my body got a little bit ripped! Remember I was writing about having lots of sport and it's impact on your mental state? So when you have some obvious evidences that what you are doing, actually has a result, it surely makes you feel better.

resigned hipster

What a week, I must say - last weekend was so different emotionally and physically, that it will take a while to recall it all and I'm going to give it a try, besides I'm very interested in restoring all the detail and that emotional path, because it might help someone with the same issues like me.

Devastation
Whole working days I felt devastated and a bit frustrated. Why? Well because it still was hard to put up with my loneliness and the feeling that I'm totally unattractive and not really useful creature. Sorely I was getting better and at some point I was so tired that heavy feeling, which was quite destructive too. Human's brain is a miracle - it always helps you to find a way out of depressing situations, a cure for intoxicating thoughts, however it's voice is weak, which could be easily silenced by your own self-pity.
 Luckily I got offered a job - to host some charity event. At first I wasn't really sure if I'm willing to do it. I had already some previous experience of event hosting, but still there were some doubts, which vanished away, when I met my co-host Ilona Jahimovich, which is one famous radio-presenter who gave me confidence. As this event took place on Saturday, clearly I didn't partied on the eve so I woke up all fresh and full of energy. The event was fun, we were rising money for poor kids of Latvian countryside, which is a good cause by all meanings. As a host I got a lot of attention, which, I must admit, was quite pleasant. After returning home, I bought a bottle of nice secco and went to ma best friend's place to celebrate my little success. Then we went to one of my favourit places Dorian Gray, where we had some more drinks. My original plan was to go home, but NO, I had to go to that bloody club, which made me feel worst again.
Analysing it now, I can tell that in spite of that good energy which I got from that event hosting and good talk with my friend, it all faded away in the club. because I had a feeling that I'm not needed, not desired. So, naturally, I had yet again another wave of tears and drama. It's now looks to me so funny, as I'm writing it now, but believe me, last Saturday's night I was the most unhappy person in Riga. What a bullocks!

hosting that event. photo via intelligent.lv

Tired of dramas

Well, I promised to tell some details about last Friday's night, when some drama happened and about alcohol and desperation. I've been thinking about alcohol a lot lately, not like that I have some mega issues with it but still it might get a bit ugly sometimes and I came to the following thought - there's no point in drinking, when you don't get drunk - few G&T won't make you feel any different, meanwhile 2 LIIT polished by couple of bubbly Kir Royal does it all. Few years ago, when I was completely happy with my life and there were no concerns I could get drunk happily whit out any further drama. Somehow last 2 years there's something not right in my life. I mean yes, I'm healthy, settled and many will not understand me, but when it comes to my personal life....ehm let's put it that way, it's not exactly what I wanted. So now, when I get drunk - I get depressed and I feel like nobody understands me, I become easily offended and may be rude to people around me, then I get even more drunk, that I cannot control myself, desperately looking for "love" which turns out as an ugly ONS and as an outcome a severe moral hangover. Almost these kind of things accrued  last Friday.

at nice cappuccino bar/ art gallery FLAT in Riga drinking LIIT, which later turned out as a big mistake

be somebody who I'm really not

I wanted to write a post about addiction, desperation for fun and alcohol, but right now I cannot find proper words to describe what I think and feel about this topic. So in stead, I suggest you to watch latest video by my favourite artist, who's every singe is a statement, M.I.A. Her song "XXXO" reflects my present mood perfectly, especially after last night's drama (details soon).



I'm staying home tonight. Good night!


Dee for ED

single not lonely

First of all, I'd like to say thank you to all my friends, who supported me, yesterday. After publishing my previous post, I got few phone calls and around 10 comment, saying that they understand me, and can offer me a helping hand. I appreciate that very much. I wouldn't say, that I'm much more better now, but yesterday I was ready to seen people and interact with'em. One couple called me last night and invited me to a home party, where we had some beer, which was totally earned, as i had Body Pump and Body balance work out in my gym.  By the way, I'm drinking (read: get drunk) now less, than I used to... ehmmm . When I'm drunk I tend to get depressed and upset. So, to avoid that drama and misunderstanding from friends side, I decided not to get drunk - few drinks maybe, but not more. Few hours of gossiping and laughing followed by a hilarious film titled "A Rainha Diaba" ("The Devil Queen" 1974). OMG this film is about Brazilian black gay drag-queen, who is also a head of drug dealers. This cheesy-burlesque-farce is a definitely A-MUST-SEE.  

loneliness

Oh social media and social networks...they affect our everyday life more, than we think. Let's take emotions for example. As far back in 2005 only your closest friends and relatives were aware of how you truly feel, about your concerns and worries, about your dreams and hopes. Nowadays average person has 3-5 closest friends and from 100 to 130 people, whit whom he interacts more or less actively. So before only few people actually knew what's up in you life. Statistics from FaceBook also proves that average human has 130 connections. Yes, at first, it looks like in real life, in spite of one fact - privacy has changed and never will be the same again. Every time you post something or update your status, all your friends in FaceBook get informed about you both directly and indirectly. Obviously when you type "what's in your mind" your friends, co-workers and buddies get's an idea of what's in your mind (Nina Garcia's face). Surely all pictures uploads and events, which you are attending are speaking for your self too. Only few people I know, actually use privacy settings and have different lists for people they know. For example my co-workers cannot see anything I post, including pictures. But most of the people don't even know about that option.

Colour your hair

Did you know, that around 40% of men and 60% of women are not really happy with their own natural hair colour. I belong to that 40% of those men. But I'm also doing something about it already since I was 15. It all started just as fun and sidelineing. Some of you might remember International Hairstylist Contest Londa - this was something really huge and long awaited among not only local public, but also for related folks from overseas. For 3 years I did modelling for Ukrainian (my hair-style took grand prix), German and Bulgarian teams. During endless bleaching, perming, combing, dyeing and drying I learned how all that stuff works. Also I learned that mother-nature endowed me with great hair, that can be transformed into whatever I want.

Recalling...

I wanted to write this post a long time ago, but you know, time management and lack of time...But yes, you right I was promising to take care of it and in fact I'm already performing some improvements. Hopefully I'll get a new BlackBerry soon, so my life will be even more organized.
Back to the subject, my precious friend, coworker and coblogger Maija, who knows how much in love I was with Lady Gaga. I had a birthday recently, so Maija presented me.... Lady Gaga Heart Beats earphones, which are just amazing. They are so cool, so I just wanted to thank Maija again and share this with all my few readers.
Soon I will post something interesting about a new cleansing programme and I will finally make a post about dental floss. So stay tuned.

Styling a book

Wow, since that reality show project Calendar.LIVE I'm getting invited in different kind of projects - some of them are interesting and some are mega interesting. Some of them fail, and some not - so my schedule is full, seriously...About some project I'm going to tell you later. 

And for now, here is a picture (check my legs out! very defined, no?!) of one styling, which we (Stuff'nStyle) did for an American writer Carla Breeze, who is writhing a book about European Knitwear Designers. Here you can learn more about that styling. 

Catch you later, alligators!

Dee for ED 

last week of "go with a flow"

OMG, I'v got so many offers lately, that I need a planner or a personal assistant already ^_^ Wel, I'm just joking, but, seriously, it's a high time to practice on time management. So over this weekend I'll fix everything that has to be fixed and will continue my professional life more professionally :D So no more "go with a flow" If you wanna achieve something - make a plan and execute it! That's what I'm gonna do. Actually I'm pretty happy that there's a lot of things happening around me now. No time for stupid thoughts , like "I'm lonely" or "oh, where is my love" and other romantic crap. Time for action and beautiful body, the rest will apply later on! 

Meanwhile you can have a look on some pictures from my gym, which I attend 6 times a week now :D  

Body Pump warming up

making my bum more bubbly :D

after few month of exercising I can not only feel, but also SEE some results

this is Les Mills Body Balance 

Dee for ED 

Birthday after party day one!

I know, that there weren't any post for last 10 days....but what can you do in a such heat...besides, nobody actually reads blogs, as everyone is on a vacation...whatever I'm not in a writing mood...

Celebrating 24th anniversary and having lot's of friend is not easy, as you can imagine. On the one hand it's always fun and you can receive lots of presents, congratulations, wall post, private messages, sms, phone calls and email (actually I didn't get any this time, do people actually use emails nowadays?!), and extra reason to get some sip of champagne, on the other - your liver suffers a massive vodka, gin and whiskey bombing, which gets polished with sparkles next morning, you are stressed that you won`t reply to every greeting (sorry guys, If I forgot someone) and your cc is sad... well anyway 24 is once in a lifetime. 

Hmm last 10 days were full of events, so here will come a photo flow in chronological order, of course!

  

June 16

This was my officially unofficial birthday party in META KAFE with djs Bogdan Taran, Ksenia Kamikaza and Zazzy. 

Birthday

This was the most strangest birthdays ever. The first half of the day I spent in the office, doing some extremely boring, BUT very important work (which I succeed very well). During my shift a friend of mine, Elena P came to pay me a visit, great me and present me a present, which my trainer will hate and he's going to kill me when he'll read this post (luckily he's going to Positivus) - 8 Rūjienas Ice-creams...or even 9. We had a few Kir Royals  and then I continued to work.

After 3rd eaten ice-cream I realized, that's time to share the rest 5 or 4 with the world. So twitted, and after few minuted Lāsma from SockBox replied. Fortunately SockBox is not far from the office, so on the way there I bought few Smirnoff Ice. Lāsma and I had a nice chat, I eat another ice-cream and had on bottle of Smirnoff.

Then I dashed back to the office to finish business. Then I had to glamm myself up fot the upcoming shootings. which lasted forever...I was done at midnight, then I ran to my friend V's place, V, D and R made me a surprise that was very sweet of them. We had some champagne, lambrusco  and fruits of course. Well not so extravaganza for a birthday, but I spent it with people I like and love.

And now time for a freakish photo!

Not really exciting, but wait. HERE is an opportunity to good something good for your self. Print this thing, feel it in, then go to gym Veselības Farbika on Brīvības str 214M and attend one free class. I would recommend to try either Body PUMP or Body BALANCE. Gym is very nice and clean, but you can see everything for yourself. Try it, you won`t lose anything, you only can gain! 

C U there!

Dee for ED

  

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Birthday

Good morning!

Today is my birthday...I`m 24 now! Yay! Well honestly this year I don`t feel like celebrating my birthday at all. Last night I felt so down, that I ate half of delicious Rūjiena Passion Fruit Ice-cream jar. I din't help and besides I ate extra sugar, which is totally not good. Conclusion: when you are upset don`t eat to feel better. It won`t help. So next time when I'll be moody I'll run extra lap around my quarter.

I'm 24 now!

RETRIITS

It's been two weeks since last post. I feel very horrible, but there are few reasons why I didn't post for so long. First of all I was in a countryside with a very slow internet, but when I got back to Riga a week ago, my handbag with all my digital devices got stolon. Don't ask how and when....it's a long story and maybe if I'll be brave enough I`ll post it. Actually the fact that I got mugged I caused a tiny depression, BUT I already knew, that I was going to RETRIITS organized by my trainer Kaspars Ozoliņš and Eda Magone. 

RETRIITS is a kind of a retreat (a time spent meditating or reflecting). This retreat has nothing to do with religion at all as some might think. Yes, there were some of yoga/Buddhist practice, but in very light way. About this I'm tell a bit later. 

Suplimentary

Good morning, people!
As promised, here is 28th and 29th June.
28 June:

I guess, that day I ate a lot of carbs, BUT I had e very serious physical activity - scuba-diving for like 15 mins in a really cold water. It was my FIRST time ever and I really enjoyed it! It feels like you are in outer-space - silence, zero-gravity and peace. You don`t think at all. It's suggesting-worth experience. I'm definitely going to take more classes.

29 June:

You know, that most of the time a do captions for my picture. Sorry, that I didn't do it in my last post! I'll try to make it everyday, but with my schedule it's really hard. When the project will be over I'll do everything daily! Ok, now about the food - If you are working/living next to Brīvības/Elizabetes corner, you should try biz lunch in D`Vine - you`ll be amazed by the prices and satisfied by the quality on day's offer. Now shit part: if you haven't been in Spanish/Italian (?) restaurant Mauricio in Begra Bazars never go there! I mean please, Tuna salad with canned tuna, pickles and POTATO for 3,40?! covered with thick layer of mayo?!!!!! 

Uf, now back to a pleasant part - I'm sitting now in Bar/Restaurant TINTO VINO and having a lovely breakfast. Here's not crowded, cuisine is very tasty and prices very friendly. Plus the have WIFI and nice staff .    

And now surprise-surprise - today everyone will have a possibility to observe shooting of a project I'm involved to. From 12:00-15:00 (GMT+2) on Brīvības/Elizabetes corner where's radio 101 studio contestants of the reality show Calendar.LIVE will read news...naked!!!! So please come by or just visit 

http://radio101.lv/streamvideo/. See you there!

Dee for ED 

P.S. ha, everything happens so fast, we needed to make some sneak pics from the studio for a press release. I already was in a studio!

  

 

Carousel of my last 10 days

Oh, it's been very extraordinary 10 days of my life - starting from simple life without toilet paper ending with scuba-diving and pottering. All of my friends ask what I'v been up to lately, some of my followers, who appeared to be my neighbours, wonders why there were no post for the last 10 days...Guys no worries I'm alive, in fact it's my best summer ever. Despite I'm not really allowed to share any information, I still would like to tell you something about my greatest summer ever.

18 June: Photo-shooting

Oh, this was one long and a bit sporty day. I woke up really early - 7:00 to take a shower and somehow make my face more pretty :D well whatever:

Here's what I ate yesterday.

and here I am myself 

:P ugly truth, isn't' it...but honestly all I do is work here...:D

Dee for ED

17 June: Jogging and some sweets

Hey, I gotta run, but here are pictures. Text will follow of course!

just after 30 min jogging and some other exercises. (not in Crocs)